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Young African American Businessman with beard, streching arm, taking selfie on cell phone outside office in New York City, Concept of self assured, self esteem, self checking, confident, success.

<figure id="figure-4qykyqkmcslwuo50j2" class="selected"><iframe id="4qykyqkmcslwuo50j2" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/YZI16uikl6g" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://youtu.be/YZI16uikl6g" data-corners="default" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/YZI16uikl6g" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure>Have you ever felt like your worth hinges on what you achieve or how well you do something? It's like you're on a never-ending treadmill, trying to prove your value through accomplishments. This feeling can be deeply tied to past traumas, especially if, as a child, you received love and attention primarily when you 'performed' well.Understanding Performance-Based Self-EsteemPerformance-based self-esteem refers to a sense of self-worth that is heavily dependent on achievements and external validation. This type of self-esteem often emerges when individuals grow up in environments where praise and affection are conditional on their performance. It's like living under a spotlight, where your value is constantly being measured by how well you perform.Understanding this link is a bit like turning on a light in a dark room. It helps you see that your value isn't about what you do but who you are. You're worthy of love and respect, just by being you. Let's remember that together, especially on tough days.Striving for Excellence versus PerfectionismIf you often find yourself chasing the elusive spectre of perfection, or you've set towering standards for yourself—standards that remain unmet despite others' praise—you might be high-functioning or even an overachiever. It's crucial to distinguish between striving for excellence and succumbing to perfectionism. Excellence means doing the best you can with the resources and constraints you have, feeling content with your efforts. Perfectionism, on the other hand, involves pushing beyond limits to meet self-imposed or external expectations, often leading to feelings of failure if those standards aren't met.Cultural and Personal ContextThis relentless pursuit often traces back to a childhood devoid of necessary validation, especially from parental figures. Cultural expectations can exacerbate this, as I've experienced firsthand as a Nigerian from a middle-class background. With a mother who was an educational psychologist and a school principal, and a father who was a civil engineer, the bar for academic achievement was set high in our family. Despite diligent efforts, anything short of top grades meant we fell short of receiving approval from our parents, teachers, and community—a scenario all too common in performance-oriented environments.ConclusionPerformance-based self-esteem can be deeply rooted in our past, but it's not a life sentence. By recognizing these patterns and understanding their origins, we can begin to shift our focus from external validation to internal acceptance. Remember, your worth isn't defined by what you do but by who you are. You are inherently valuable and deserving of love and respect.Thank you so much for reading. If you found this content helpful, consider <a data-mce-href="ttps://www.halaxy.com/book/wholesome-counselling-services/location/594151" href="ttps://www.halaxy.com/book/wholesome-counselling-services/location/594151" title="Booking">booking</a> a consultation to explore these issues further and start your journey towards healing and self-acceptance.References:1. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;National Institute of Mental Health -Perception and understanding of Self: <a data-mce-href="https://www.nimh.nih.gov/research/research-funded-by-nimh/rdoc/constructs/perception-and-understanding-of-self" href="https://www.nimh.nih.gov/research/research-funded-by-nimh/rdoc/constructs/perception-and-understanding-of-self" title="Perception of Self" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://www.nimh.nih.gov/research/research-funded-by-nimh/rdoc/constructs/perception-and-understanding-of-self</a>2. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Brené Brown, Ph.D. - The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. &nbsp;<a data-mce-href="https://brenebrown.com/book/the-gifts-of-imperfection/" href="https://brenebrown.com/book/the-gifts-of-imperfection/" title="The Gift Of Imperfection" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://brenebrown.com/book/the-gifts-of-imperfection/</a>

WHAT IS PERFORMANCE BASED SELF ESTEEM?

<figure id="figure-5k9b5pfjpllw2bak2o"><iframe id="5k9b5pfjpllw2bak2o" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3sfNKL_GFIs" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowFullScreen="" data-url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sfNKL_GFIs" data-corners="default" data-fullWidth="false"></iframe></figure>As we celebrate Mother's Day here in Australia, it's an opportune time to address a topic that resonates deeply with many—maternal trauma, often referred to as "<a title="How To Heal and Recover FromMamaWound" href="https://youtu.be/3sfNKL_GFIs" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-mce-href="https://youtu.be/3sfNKL_GFIs">Mama's Wounds.</a>" This subject can be particularly sensitive, evoking a range of emotions from those who have experienced toxic maternal behaviours. In today’s post, I'll guide you through five strategies to better manage and heal from these complex feelings. Whether you're dealing with unresolved issues from the past or striving to improve your current relationship with your mother, these steps can help you find your path to healing.&nbsp;1. Acknowledge and Mourn:The first step in healing from maternal trauma is acknowledging that some maternal behaviours can be toxic and harmful. It's essential to recognize these behaviors and allow yourself to grieve for the nurturing relationship you deserved but did not receive. Mourning is a crucial process that helps you come to terms with your past and can liberate you from ongoing pain. 2. Seek Professional Help:While friends and family can provide support, professional help is often necessary to deeply heal from maternal trauma. Therapy can offer a transformative space to work through your feelings and develop strategies for recovery. Techniques such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) have proven particularly effective in treating these types of trauma. If you're feeling overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a therapist who specializes in family dynamics and co-dependency.3. Set and Maintain BoundariesIt’s important to set and maintain healthy boundaries with your mother, especially if her behaviours continue to be hurtful. Remember, you are not responsible for her actions—she is an adult capable of managing her own behaviours. Establishing firm boundaries is not only necessary for your mental health but also empowers you to interact with her on your terms.4. Embrace Your Purpose:Your mother's behaviours does not define your entire existence. As an adult, you have the power to shape your own life, with or without her approval. Embracing your own identity and pursuing your personal goals can help you build a fulfilling life that reflects who you truly are.5. Build Supportive Relationships:Finally, surround yourself with people who support and uplift you. Whether it’s reconnecting with a trusted family member or forming new bonds with maternal figures who embody the qualities you value, these relationships can provide the emotional support and validation you need. Be mindful, however, of falling into codependent patterns, and strive to build relationships that are healthy and mutually supportive.ConclusionMaternal trauma is a challenging issue, but with the right strategies and support, healing is possible. If this post resonates with you, please share it with others who might benefit from it. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. If you’re considering professional help, don’t hesitate to reach out. Together, we can navigate the tough spots towards a healthier, happier life. If you found this blog helpful and are looking for more guidance and support. Or &nbsp;you need personalized help, please make a <a data-mce-href="https://www.halaxy.com/book/wholesome-counselling-services/location/594151" href="https://www.halaxy.com/book/wholesome-counselling-services/location/594151" title="Book Here" target="_blank" rel="noopener">booking here</a>. Let’s work together to turn your healing into a powerful story of triumph.REFERENCE"The Long-term Effects of Maternal Trauma on Adolescent and Adult Offspring" in the <a data-mce-href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0145213423002090#:~:text=Evidence%20suggests%20associations%20between%20maternal,risk%20of%20depression%20and%20internalizing" href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0145213423002090#:~:text=Evidence%20suggests%20associations%20between%20maternal,risk%20of%20depression%20and%20internalizing" title="The Long Term Effect" target="_blank" rel="noopener">American Journal of Psychiatry</a>. This piece discusses the generational impact of maternal trauma

THE MOTHER WOUND - TIPS FOR HEALING

Sensitive women, fashion models, natural red dresses

<figure id="figure-jpfkoyog0clwfpq0l0"><iframe id="jpfkoyog0clwfpq0l0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/FNAgRL7ocmU" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowFullScreen="" data-url="https://youtu.be/FNAgRL7ocmU" data-corners="default" data-fullWidth="false"></iframe></figure>By Marvel C. Adeyemi&nbsp;Being someone who feels everything so deeply in a world that seems to celebrate the tough and the unshakeable can feel like you’re walking through life with your heart on your sleeve, vulnerable to every sharp corner. But, my friend, I’m here to share something special with you—a journey from those moments that knock the wind out of you to finding a strength you might not realize you have. If you would like to watch this as a video format, <a data-mce-href="https://youtu.be/x_zoLP_5mig" href="https://youtu.be/x_zoLP_5mig" title="Who Is A Highly Sensitive Person?" target="_blank" rel="noopener">click here</a>Around 15-20% of us are HSPs, a trait that may be inherited or influenced by our environments, including childhood experiences. This sensitivity heightens our awareness, enriching our lives with deep empathy and creativity, yet also making us more susceptible to feeling overwhelmed by sensory stimuli like loud noises or bright lights.&nbsp;What It Means to Be Highly Sensitive: You know how you catch those little details others miss, feel emotions as if they're tidal waves, and sometimes get overwhelmed by the world's loudness? That’s your superpower. Yes, it means the tough times hit harder, but it also means you experience the beauty of life in vibrant color.&nbsp;When Disappointment Hits Hard It’s like the world stops, right? A harsh word, an unexpected setback, a curved ball shows up and suddenly you’re feeling everything so intensely. It’s okay. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to feel it all. Avoid making long term decisions at these moments. Your feelings are valid, and they're a part of this incredible depth you bring to the world.&nbsp;Let's Talk Resilience. Own Your Sensitivity: It’s a part of you, and it’s beautiful. It’s what makes you an amazing friend, a creative soul, and a person of deep empathy. Emotional Smarts: You’ve got this incredible ability to understand feelings—yours and everyone else's. It’s like having an internal compass that helps you navigate through life’s ups and downs.&nbsp;Boundaries Are Your Best Friends: Learning to say “no” or “I need a moment” isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. It’s how you keep your heart safe and your energy tank full. Be Kind to You: Talk to yourself like you would to your best friend. You deserve that kindness, especially from yourself.Find Your Tribe: There are people out there who get it, who feel the world just as intensely. They’re your people. Lean on them, laugh with them, let them remind you that you’re not alone.&nbsp;Self-Care Isn’t Optional:&nbsp; Whether it’s quiet mornings with a cup of tea, journaling, meditation or good sleep routine,—find what centers you. Caring for your body and spirit is not just nice; it’s essential. Turning Sensitivity Into Your Superpower:Imagine using your depth of feeling to connect, create, and inspire. Your empathy, creativity, and insight are gifts, not just to you but to everyone around you. You have the power to see the world in ways others can’t—and that’s a kind of magic. You’re Not Alone I’ve seen it—the resilience in your tears, the strength in your sensitivity. I’ve seen friends and heroes rise from the depths of their own vulnerability to stand tall, their hearts wide open and shining brightly. Their stories are reminders that your sensitivity is not a burden; it’s a badge of honor.&nbsp;Wrapping It Up. So here we are, you and me, in this moment. I want you to remember that feeling everything so deeply isn’t a flaw. It’s a journey from fragility to a resilience that doesn’t have to harden you but can instead enrich you, making you more you. You’ve got an incredible gift, my friend. Let’s embrace it together, and step into the world with our sensitive, strong hearts leading the way.&nbsp;Are you feeling overwhelmed by your sensitivity? As someone who deeply understands the journey of a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), I invite you to explore this path together in a safe and supportive counseling environment. Knowing firsthand the challenges and gifts of being an HSP, I offer a unique perspective and empathetic guidance to help you harness your sensitivity as a strength. <a data-mce-href="https://www.halaxy.com/book/wholesome-counselling-services/location/594151" href="https://www.halaxy.com/book/wholesome-counselling-services/location/594151" title="Marvel Adeyemi" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Book a session </a>with me, and let's embark on a journey toward understanding, resilience, and empowerment. Embrace your sensitivity and transform it into your greatest asset.To delve deeper into the topic of Highly Sensitive People (HSP), you might want to explore the works of key researchers like <a data-mce-href="https://hsperson.com/about-dr-elaine-aron/" href="https://hsperson.com/about-dr-elaine-aron/" title="HSPs" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.,</a> who pioneered the study of sensitivity with her book "The Highly Sensitive Person." Dr. Aron's research provides a foundational understanding of the trait, outlining how sensitivity influences one's emotional and psychological experience. Additionally, studies by Arthur Aron, Ph.D., and others have expanded on this concept, examining how sensitivity impacts relationships, creativity, and stress response. For a comprehensive overview of HSP research, I recommend starting with Elaine N. Aron's publications and website, which offer a wealth of resources and further reading.&nbsp;Marvel C. Adeyemi, B.A, P. Grad. &nbsp;M.Ed., M.S.W., AMHSW&nbsp;Phone: +61 457846457E: mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com

What It Means To Be a HSP -Highly Sensitive Person?

Loving couple celebrating birthday or anniversary with a present.

By Marvel C. AdeyemiIntroduction:So, you've come to the realization that you're married to a Mama’s Boy, and it's driving you up the wall. The constant prioritization of his mother and family over you, the unresolved issues - it's a lot. Feeling invisible, alienated, and voiceless in your own marriage is a heavy burden. But hold off on packing those bags. There's hope. Let’s explore ways to manage your relationship effectively. Click <a data-mce-href="https://youtu.be/zXPQxLURzvw?si=Qtdo4PdSow8gg-EI" href="https://youtu.be/zXPQxLURzvw?si=Qtdo4PdSow8gg-EI" title="Mother-Son Enmeshment: SecretsTo Flourishing When Married to &quot;Mama's Boy&quot;." target="_blank" rel="noopener">here </a>if you wish to watch the video<ol><li>Redefine Your Marriage:</li></ol>First up, change your beliefs about what marriage is. It's not about societal norms; it's about what it means to you. A woman I spoke with realized that she doesn't need her husband for a happy life. she chose to be with him out of love, not dependency. This mindset is liberating and helped to make her marriage work for her. &nbsp;Understand that your problem isn't with your husband per se, but with the dynamic between him and his mother. Also, assess what your marriage provides for you, like shared expenses, parenting responsibilities, and companionship. This viewpoint might change your perspective entirely. <ol start="2"><li> Letting Go of Controlling Your Husband:</li></ol>If you find yourself married to a 'Mama’s Boy', it's likely you were attracted to his easy-going nature, which felt safe and different from perhaps difficult relationships in your past. As a wife in this situation, you might have been attracted to your husband's easy-going nature, especially if it presented a stark contrast to your own family background, which might have included issues like an absent or abusive father, or a narcissistic parent. This attraction, however, often comes with its own set of expectations and emotional baggage, including a deep-seated desire for exclusive attention and a lack of guidance on handling dysfunctional family dynamics.It's common for women in these relationships to share personality traits with their mother-in-law – perhaps being go-getters, confident, or high achievers. Mama's Boys, often raised by controlling mothers, might have lost some of their independence and confidence, making them seem more manageable. But this can lead to a frustrating cycle. You might start trying to control or protect your relationship, only to find yourself mimicking the controlling behaviour of your mother-in-law. This dynamic can awaken deep-seated issues of abandonment and rejection, creating a version of yourself that's controlling and resentful.The truth is the dysfunctional family dynamics were in place long before you came into the picture. It's important to understand that you are not the cause of these deep-rooted issues. It's crucial to acknowledge that these are not your responsibility. Stepping out of this cycle involves letting go of the need to control your husband and allowing him to develop his own sense of self. Encourage a healthy relationship filled with respect, boundaries, and empathy. Over time, this can help your husband break free from codependent behaviours. Couples counselling, especially with a therapist skilled in dealing with co-dependency and family dysfunction, can be incredibly helpful.Remember to see the positive aspects of your mother-in-law as well. Despite the challenges, she raised a person you fell in love with – a gentle, emotionally sensitive man. By shifting the dynamics of control and fostering a healthier relationship, you open the door to growth, understanding, and a stronger marriage.<ol start="4"><li> Identify Your Triggers and Seek Healing from Unresolved Trauma:</li></ol>Understanding and managing your emotional responses, especially in the complex dynamics involving your mother-in-law and in-laws, is crucial. You might find that certain behaviours or situations trigger anger or resentment, which could stem from unresolved childhood trauma. Addressing these issues is an essential step towards emotional well-being.Be mindful of situations or events that trigger negative emotions, particularly those involving your in-laws. Recognizing these triggers is the first step in managing them. If certain family events consistently lead to distress, it might be wise to limit your participation in them, at least temporarily, to maintain your peace of mind.By identifying your triggers and actively working on your unresolved traumas, you create a path towards recovery and emotional stability. This journey is not just about managing interactions with your in-laws; it's about healing yourself and strengthening your emotional resilience.Utilise journaling. This simple yet powerful tool allows you to express and process your feelings and emotions, along with the energy that accompanies them. Writing down your thoughts can provide clarity and a sense of release.Incorporate relaxation techniques into your routine. Practices like deep breathing exercises can be remarkably effective in calming your mind and reducing stress. Additionally, engaging with nature, such as walking on the beach, can be therapeutic. The tranquillity and beauty of natural settings offer a respite from emotional turmoil and help in grounding your thoughts.<ol><li> Set Boundaries in Your Marriage:</li></ol>&nbsp;It’s vital to have open and honest communication with your husband about your expectations. This can cover a range of topics, from finances to the amount of time spent with your mother-in-law. For example, you might agree that your husband won’t send financial resources to his family if it compromises your own immediate family’s needs, like rent or your children's school fees. It’s important to clarify responsibilities, expectations, and potential consequences of not adhering to these <a data-mce-href="https://wholesomecounselling.com/blog/the-power-of-boundaries--creating-a-balanced-and-fulfilling-lifest-2" href="https://wholesomecounselling.com/blog/the-power-of-boundaries--creating-a-balanced-and-fulfilling-lifest-2" title="Boundaries">boundaries</a>. These conversations should happen proactively, not during a crisis. Ensuring that you and your husband are aligned on key aspects of your marriage and family life is essential. Maintaiin respect throughout your conversations.<ol start="2"><li> Develop New Skills and Self-Reliance:</li></ol>It's not uncommon for wives of Mama's Boys to wish their husbands possessed certain qualities they admire in other men, such as assertiveness and confidence. Instead of feeling vulnerable or seeking advice externally, consider developing these skills yourself. Anyone can acquire new skills and improve behavioural qualities. By doing so, you not only reduce unrealistic expectations from your husband but also avoid potential disappointments. Moreover, you'll be modelling these qualities for your husband. This approach can be empowering and can also inspire similar growth in your spouse. Working with a counsellor who understands attachment wounds can facilitate this personal development.<ol start="8"><li> Pursue Personal Goals:</li></ol>It's essential to have a life outside your marriage. Pursuing personal goals, hobbies, and friendships can boost your self-esteem. Remember, your husband can't fulfill all your emotional needs. Revising your expectations of marriage can be a game-changer here.Conclusion:Dealing with the complexities of a marriage to a Mama's Boy can be challenging, but with the right approach, you can find balance and fulfillment.&nbsp;If you're navigating these unique challenges and need support, I'm here to help. As a Family Therapist and Accredited Mental Health Social Worker with a background in attachment-based frameworks, I specialize in addressing the impacts of dysfunctional family dynamics.Feel free to reach out to me for counselling and support in your journey towards a healthier relationship dynamic. Marvel C. Adeyemi, B.A, P. Grad. &nbsp;M.Ed., M.S.W., AMHSW Phone: +61 457846457E: <a href="mailto:mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com" data-mce-href="mailto:mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com">mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com</a>if you're here already: <a href="http://www.wholesomecounselling.com" data-mce-href="http://www.wholesomecounselling.com">www.wholesomecounselling.com</a>. Make a booking on the Home page.References<a data-mce-href="https://www.amazon.com.au/Silently-Seduced-Kenneth-M-Adams/dp/0757315879" href="https://www.amazon.com.au/Silently-Seduced-Kenneth-M-Adams/dp/0757315879" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Adams, K. (2011). Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners. Health Communications Inc.</a>Adams, K. (2007). When He's Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment. Fireside.Friel, J. C., &amp; Friel, L. D. (1990). Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families. Health Communications Inc.Lepera, N. (2021). How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self. Harper Wave.Melody, P. (2001). The Intimacy Factor: The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting Love. Harper One.Cloud, H., &amp; Townsend, J. (1999). Boundaries in Marriage. Zondervan.Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. Free Press.

Mother-Son Enmeshment: How to stay happily married.

a woman rests her head on another person's shoulder

By Marvel C. Adeyemi (B.A, Pg., M.Ed. M.S.W. AMHSW)Life often throws us into situations we never expected, and two of the most challenging experiences many individuals face are infidelity in relationships and the complexities of unwed parenthood. In this blog, we'll delve into the intricacies of these deeply personal journeys, offering guidance on how to move beyond the pain of an affair, manage the burden of shame and blame, and nurture a child born out of wedlock. These topics are complex and emotionally charged, but remember, seeking professional support can be profoundly transformative.Section 1: Beyond AffairsDefining the Affair:Infidelity is a storm that can wreak havoc on even the strongest of relationships. It's more than just a breach of trust; it's an emotional earthquake that can leave both partners shattered. To rebuild, we must start by understanding what happened.In her book, "After the Affair," Janis Abrahms Spring aptly defines the complex dynamics that come into play when infidelity strikes. This emotional turmoil is something many couples face, and it's crucial to know that healing is possible.The Emotional Impact:The emotional toll of an affair is immense. Both partners are left grappling with feelings of betrayal, anger, sadness, and confusion. It's essential to acknowledge the pain and understand that it's entirely valid.Research published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy sheds light on the deep emotional impact of infidelity. It's a harsh reality, but recognizing it is the first step towards healing.Section 2: Managing Shame and BlameUnderstanding Shame:Shame often becomes an unwelcome companion after an affair. It's the feeling that we're fundamentally flawed, and it can be paralyzing. Brené Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability and shame, reminds us that shame loses its power when we talk about it. It's crucial to open up, share our feelings, and seek support.Overcoming Blame:Blame is another heavy burden that can hinder healing. When we blame ourselves or our partners, we stall the process of rebuilding. Understanding that blame is a natural response but not a productive one is essential.Psychologists have studied the psychology of blame extensively, highlighting its detrimental effects. It's crucial to shift our focus from blame to healing and growth.Section 3: Nurturing the Child Out of WedlockAcknowledging Parenthood:If you're facing the challenges of unwed parenthood, remember that parenthood is a beautiful journey, regardless of marital status. Embrace the miracle of life and celebrate it. Your child is a gift, and their presence should be cherished.Supportive Networks:Lean on your support system, including family and friends. They can provide the love and encouragement you need during this journey. Community and parenting support groups can also be invaluable resources.Section 4: Seeking Professional HelpTherapy and Counseling:When facing the complexities of affairs, shame, blame, or unwed parenthood, seeking professional help is often the most effective way to navigate these challenging situations. Licensed therapists and relationship counselors can provide you with the guidance, tools, and support needed to heal and move forward.Section 5: Moving ForwardRebuilding Trust and Self-Esteem:Rebuilding trust in a relationship after an affair is a gradual process that requires open communication, transparency, and a commitment to change. Books like "Not 'Just Friends'" by Shirley Glass can offer valuable insights into this journey.Parenting with Love:Positive parenting techniques are crucial when nurturing a child, especially as a single parent. "The Whole-Brainchild" by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson provides practical advice on understanding and connecting with your child.Conclusion:In conclusion, the path from affairs to unwed parenthood is filled with challenges, but it's also an opportunity for growth, healing, and transformation. These complex journeys may seem daunting but remember that you're not alone.&nbsp;If you're navigating these unique challenges and need support, I'm here to help. As a Family Therapist and Accredited Mental Health Social Worker with a background in attachment-based frameworks, I specialize in addressing the impacts of dysfunctional family dynamics.Feel free to reach out for counselling and support in your journey towards a healthier relationship dynamic. Marvel C. Adeyemi, B.A, P. Grad. &nbsp;M.Ed., M.S.W., AMHSW Phone: +61 457846457E: <a href="mailto:mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com" data-mce-href="mailto:mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com">mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com</a>if you're here already: <a href="http://www.wholesomecounselling.com" data-mce-href="http://www.wholesomecounselling.com">www.wholesomecounselling.com</a>. Make a booking on the Home page.Sources:Abrahms Spring, J. (2006). After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful. Harper Paperbacks.Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.https://dialnet.unirioja.es/ejemplar/510488Brown, B. Title of Brené Brown's work on Vulnerability and Shame.Glass, S. (2003). Not 'Just Friends': Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity. Free Press.Siegel, D. J., &amp; Bryson, T. P. (2012). The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind. Bantam.

Rebuilding Trust in Marriage After an Affair

unemployed old asian business man. portrait of businessman suffering from layoff, economic recession, business crisis, unemployment, bankruptcy or business depression. asian 50s old man model.

<h3>By Marvel C. Adeyemi</h3>Change is a constant in life, and it often brings with it a whirlwind of emotions and challenges. Whether it's a significant life event, a career transition, or a shift in personal relationships, change can be a daunting journey. To help us better understand and navigate the emotional rollercoaster that comes with change, we turn to a valuable psychological model known as the Change Curve.The Change Curve: An OverviewThe Change Curve is a psychological model that maps the common emotional phases people experience during significant transitions. It provides insights into how individuals respond to change and why they might react the way they do. Derived from the work of psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who originally proposed the five stages of grief, the Change Curve illustrates four primary stages: denial, resistance, exploration, and acceptance.<ol><li>Denial: The Initial Shield</li></ol>When change first enters our lives, it's not uncommon to react with disbelief or a sense of unreality. Denial is the initial stage of the Change Curve, where we might try to ignore or avoid the change, hoping that it's a temporary disturbance that will eventually fade away. Denial serves as a protective mechanism, allowing us to process the change at our own pace.<ol start="2"><li>Resistance: Battling the Winds of Change</li></ol>Resistance is where the storm brews. As the reality of the change sets in, we may experience emotions such as anger, frustration, anxiety, and fear. These feelings often stem from a perceived threat to our comfort, security, or routine. During this stage, we might push back against the change, express opposition, or become critical of those responsible for implementing it.<ol start="3"><li>Exploration: Seeking Understanding</li></ol>Once we begin to accept that the change is real, we enter the exploration stage. Here, we seek more information about the change, its purpose, and its impact on our lives. We engage in conversations, attend meetings, and ask questions to gain clarity. Exploration is a vital phase for gathering knowledge and making informed decisions about how to adapt to the new circumstances.<ol start="4"><li>Acceptance: Embracing the New Normal</li></ol>The final destination of the Change Curve is acceptance. In this stage, we come to terms with the change and start to embrace it. Although doubts and concerns may linger, we acknowledge that the change is inevitable. We become willing to adapt our behaviors, attitudes, and perspectives to align with the new reality. This stage signifies a readiness to move forward and work with the changes, opening ourselves up to new opportunities and possibilities.Conclusion: Navigating the Change CurveUnderstanding the Change Curve can be a valuable tool in managing and adapting to change. It reminds us that the emotional turbulence we experience during transitions is a natural part of the process. People may not progress through these stages in a linear or uniform way, and that's perfectly okay. What matters most is recognizing where we are on the curve and seeking support and resources to help us navigate the journey successfully.Change may be inevitable, but with the right tools and insights, we can ride the waves of change with greater resilience and adaptability. So, the next time you find yourself facing a major life shift, remember the Change Curve and trust that you have the inner strength to weather the storm and embrace the new horizons that change brings.&nbsp;If you're navigating these unique challenges and need support, I'm here to help. As an EAP consultant&nbsp; with a background in Leadership and management, I specialize in addressing the impacts of organisational changes.Feel free to reach out to me for counselling and support in your journey towards a balanced and fulfilling life. Marvel C. Adeyemi, B.A, P. Grad. &nbsp;M.Ed., M.S.W., AMHSW Phone: +61 457846457E: <a href="mailto:mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com" data-mce-href="mailto:mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com">mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com</a>if you're here already: <a href="http://www.wholesomecounselling.com" data-mce-href="http://www.wholesomecounselling.com">www.wholesomecounselling.com</a>. Make a booking on the Home page.

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