May 11, 2024By Wholesome Counselling


As we celebrate Mother's Day here in Australia, it's an opportune time to address a topic that resonates deeply with many—maternal trauma, often referred to as "Mama's Wounds." This subject can be particularly sensitive, evoking a range of emotions from those who have experienced toxic maternal behaviours. In today’s post, I'll guide you through five strategies to better manage and heal from these complex feelings. Whether you're dealing with unresolved issues from the past or striving to improve your current relationship with your mother, these steps can help you find your path to healing. 

1. Acknowledge and Mourn:

The first step in healing from maternal trauma is acknowledging that some maternal behaviours can be toxic and harmful. It's essential to recognize these behaviors and allow yourself to grieve for the nurturing relationship you deserved but did not receive. Mourning is a crucial process that helps you come to terms with your past and can liberate you from ongoing pain.

2. Seek Professional Help:

While friends and family can provide support, professional help is often necessary to deeply heal from maternal trauma. Therapy can offer a transformative space to work through your feelings and develop strategies for recovery. Techniques such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) have proven particularly effective in treating these types of trauma. If you're feeling overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a therapist who specializes in family dynamics and co-dependency.

3. Set and Maintain Boundaries

It’s important to set and maintain healthy boundaries with your mother, especially if her behaviours continue to be hurtful. Remember, you are not responsible for her actions—she is an adult capable of managing her own behaviours. Establishing firm boundaries is not only necessary for your mental health but also empowers you to interact with her on your terms.

4. Embrace Your Purpose:

Your mother's behaviours does not define your entire existence. As an adult, you have the power to shape your own life, with or without her approval. Embracing your own identity and pursuing your personal goals can help you build a fulfilling life that reflects who you truly are.

5. Build Supportive Relationships:

Finally, surround yourself with people who support and uplift you. Whether it’s reconnecting with a trusted family member or forming new bonds with maternal figures who embody the qualities you value, these relationships can provide the emotional support and validation you need. Be mindful, however, of falling into codependent patterns, and strive to build relationships that are healthy and mutually supportive.ConclusionMaternal trauma is a challenging issue, but with the right strategies and support, healing is possible.

If this post resonates with you, please share it with others who might benefit from it. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. If you’re considering professional help, don’t hesitate to reach out. Together, we can navigate the tough spots towards a healthier, happier life. If you found this blog helpful and are looking for more guidance and support. Or  you need personalized help, please make a booking here. Let’s work together to turn your healing into a powerful story of triumph.


"The Long-term Effects of Maternal Trauma on Adolescent and Adult Offspring" in the American Journal of Psychiatry. This piece discusses the generational impact of maternal trauma