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By Marvel C. Adeyemi<figure id="figure-ijpig80ykllwfpfir3"><iframe id="ijpig80ykllwfpfir3" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/eVWTHA5LVJ4" class="w-full bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowFullScreen="" data-url="https://youtu.be/eVWTHA5LVJ4" data-corners="default" data-fullWidth="false"></iframe></figure>Think of your family as a big mix of emotions and how everyone acts. Well, sometimes, these feelings and actions get all knotted up, and that's what we call 'family enmeshment'. While closeness and connectedness are essential in family life, enmeshment takes it to an extreme, often blurring individual identities and boundaries. In this blog, we'll explore what family enmeshment is, its potential consequences, and most importantly, practical strategies to cope and foster healthier family relationships.What is Family Enmeshment? Family enmeshment refers to a state where family members are overly involved in each other's lives, emotions, and decisions to an unhealthy extent. This could present as playing a surrogate partner to your single parent. In enmeshed families, there's often a lack of personal boundaries, and individuals may have difficulty distinguishing their own thoughts, feelings, and desires from those of their family members. While it can be well-intentioned, enmeshment can lead to a host of issues, including emotional dependency, loss of identity and difficulty staying committed or being fully present in marital relationship, stifled personal growth, and strained relationships.Consequences of Family Enmeshment: Family enmeshment can have significant consequences on individuals and the family. Some common effects include:Lack of Independence/Learned Helplessness: Enmeshed individuals may struggle to make decisions independently, often seeking approval or input from family members for even minor choices.Emotional Dysregulation: Emotional boundaries become blurred, leading to heightened emotional sensitivity and difficulty managing one's feelings.Loss of Identity: Enmeshment can lead to a loss of individual identity as individuals conform to family expectations and norms.Strained Relationships: Constant emotional involvement and lack of boundaries can lead to tension, conflict, and strain in family relationships.Practical Strategies to Cope with Family Enmeshment:Self-Awareness: Recognize and acknowledge the enmeshment within your family. Awareness is the first step toward change. Reflect on your own boundaries and identify areas where you might have blurred lines between your individuality and the family's expectations.Open Communication: Initiate honest conversations with family members about the enmeshment issue. Avoid blame and focus on expressing your feelings and needs. Encourage family members to share their perspectives and feelings as well.Establish Boundaries: Set clear and healthy boundaries within the family. Define what is acceptable in terms of personal space, decision-making, and emotional involvement. Communicate your boundaries assertively but respectfully.Seek Support: Consider seeking support from a therapist or counsellor who specializes in family dynamics. They can provide guidance and facilitate healthy discussions.Self-Care: Prioritize self-care practices that nurture your emotional and mental well-being. This might include exercise, mindfulness, or hobbies that bring you joy.Build External Connections: Cultivate relationships outside the family to help establish a sense of independence and support.Gradual Changes: Understand that change takes time. Gradually work on strengthening your individuality and setting boundaries without rushing the process.Conclusion: Family enmeshment is a complex issue, but it's not insurmountable. By raising awareness, fostering open communication, and gradually establishing healthy boundaries, individuals within enmeshed families can find a path toward greater independence, personal growth, and more balanced family relationships.&nbsp;&nbsp;If you're navigating these unique challenges and need support, I'm here to help. As a Family Therapist and Accredited Mental Health Social Worker with a background in attachment-based frameworks, I specialize in addressing the impacts of dysfunctional family dynamics.Feel free to reach out for counselling and support in your journey towards a healthier relationship dynamic. Marvel C. Adeyemi, B.A, P. Grad. &nbsp;M.Ed., M.S.W., AMHSW Phone: +61 457846457E: <a href="mailto:mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com" data-mce-href="mailto:mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com">mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com</a>if you're here already: <a href="http://www.wholesomecounselling.com" data-mce-href="http://www.wholesomecounselling.com">www.wholesomecounselling.com</a>. Make a booking on the Home page.

How to Cope with Family Enmeshment and Finding Your Identity

Troubled young girl comforted by her friend.

Healing Attachment Wounds: Embracing Self-ValidationBy Marvel C. Adeyemi.&nbsp;In the intricate dance of human relationships, attachment wounds often remain veiled, quietly influencing our interactions and self-perceptions. These wounds, typically stemming from early experiences, can profoundly affect our ability to seek and receive validation as adults. This, in turn, can disrupt our relationships and hinder our personal growth.Understanding Attachment WoundsAttachment wounds are emotional injuries that occur when our fundamental need for love, care, and emotional connection goes unmet during childhood. These wounds can manifest in various ways, such as neglect, rejection, inconsistent caregiving, or even traumatic experiences. While they may stay hidden beneath the surface, their impact lingers, shaping our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us.One of the most significant repercussions of attachment wounds is the craving for external validation. When we're wounded, we often seek validation from others to fill the void left by unmet childhood needs. We yearn for reassurance that we are lovable, worthy, and enough. However, this quest for external validation can unwittingly sabotage our relationships.The External Validation TrapRelying solely on external sources for validation places immense pressure on our relationships. It can lead to behaviors such as people-pleasing, constantly seeking approval, and sacrificing our own needs to meet others' expectations. These patterns erode our sense of self and can eventually strain even the strongest connections.So, what's the way out of this cycle? How can we heal attachment wounds and embrace self-validation?Steps Toward Self-ValidationRecognize Your Wounds: Begin by acknowledging that you may carry attachment wounds from your past. Reflect on your childhood experiences and how they might be influencing your present.Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Understand that it's okay to have wounds and imperfections.Seek Professional Help: Consider reaching out to a therapist experienced in attachment issues. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your wounds and develop healthier patterns.Embrace Self-Acceptance: Let go of the need to be perfect or to conform to others' expectations. Embrace your uniqueness and understand that you are inherently valuable.Set Boundaries: Learn to set healthy boundaries in your relationships. Boundaries help protect your emotional well-being and foster respect from others.Mindfulness and Self-Reflection: Engage in mindfulness practices and self-reflection to gain insight into your thought patterns and emotional reactions. This self-awareness is a powerful tool for change.Journaling: Keep a journal to track your emotional journey. Write down moments when you seek external validation and explore the underlying emotions and triggers.Embark on Your Healing JourneyAs you embark on your journey toward self-validation and healing attachment wounds, remember that you don't have to go it alone. Seeking the guidance of a compassionate therapist can provide invaluable support and insight. If you're ready to explore your attachment wounds, develop self-validation, and build healthier relationships, I'm here to help.Together, we can navigate the intricacies of your emotional landscape, mend the wounds of the past, and cultivate the empowering skill of self-validation. You deserve a life where your sense of worth isn't dependent on external sources – it's time to embrace the beautiful, resilient you.&nbsp;If you're navigating these unique challenges and need support, I'm here to help. As a Family Therapist and Accredited Mental Health Social Worker with a background in attachment-based frameworks, I specialize in addressing the impacts of dysfunctional family dynamics.Feel free to reach out for counselling and support in your journey towards a healthier relationship dynamic. Marvel C. Adeyemi, B.A, P. Grad. &nbsp;M.Ed., M.S.W., AMHSW Phone: +61 457846457E: <a href="mailto:mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com" data-mce-href="mailto:mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com">mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com</a>if you're here already: <a href="http://www.wholesomecounselling.com" data-mce-href="http://www.wholesomecounselling.com">www.wholesomecounselling.com</a>. Make a booking on the Home page.

Healing Attachment Wounds: Embracing Self-Validation

Breaking the stigma surrounding mental health has been an ongoing battle for years. However, seeking counseling has been one of the most stigmatized aspects of mental health. Many people are hesitant to seek counseling due to the negative connotations associated with it. However, seeking counseling is an important step towards taking care of one's mental health.

<h2>The Importance of Seeking Counseling</h2>

Seeking counseling is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength. It takes courage to recognize that one needs help and to take action to seek it. Counseling provides individuals with a safe and confidential space to explore their thoughts and emotions. It can help individuals gain a better understanding of themselves and their relationships.

<h3>Breaking the Stigma</h3>

The stigma surrounding counseling is slowly breaking down. More and more people are recognizing the importance of seeking counseling. However, there is still a long way to go. It is important to continue to break down the stigma surrounding counseling and mental health in general. This can be done through education and open conversation.

<figure id="figure-zs1ox6332llcypq50"><img id="zs1ox6332llcypq50" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1475137979732-b349acb6b7e3?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxMHx8bWVudGFsJTIwaGVhbHRofGVufDB8fHx8MTY5MjEwNzM5OXww&ixlib=rb-4.0.3&q=80&w=1080" alt="mental health" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9"></figure>

<h3>Types of Counseling</h3>

There are many different types of counseling available, including individual counseling, group counseling, and family counseling. Each type of counseling offers its own unique benefits. Individual counseling provides individuals with one-on-one support, while group counseling allows individuals to connect with others who are going through similar experiences. Family counseling can help families work through issues and improve their relationships.

<h3>The Counseling Process</h3>

The counseling process can vary depending on the individual's needs and the type of counseling they are receiving. However, the process typically involves an initial assessment, goal setting, and regular sessions with a licensed therapist. The therapist will work with the individual to develop coping skills and strategies to help them manage their thoughts and emotions.

<figure id="figure-jzp3lvl4opllcypsch"><img id="jzp3lvl4opllcypsch" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1581333100576-b73befd79a9b?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHw4fHx0aGVyYXB5JTIwc2Vzc2lvbnxlbnwwfHx8fDE2OTIxNDM2NzB8MA&ixlib=rb-4.0.3&q=80&w=1080" alt="therapy session" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9"></figure>

<h3>Benefits of Counseling</h3>

There are many benefits to seeking counseling. Counseling can help individuals improve their relationships, manage stress and anxiety, and develop coping skills. It can also help individuals work through past traumas and improve their self-esteem. Ultimately, counseling can help individuals lead happier and more fulfilling lives.

<h2>Conclusion</h2>

Breaking the stigma surrounding counseling is an important step towards taking care of one's mental health. Seeking counseling is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength. It takes courage to recognize that one needs help and to take action to seek it. Counseling provides individuals with a safe and confidential space to explore their thoughts and emotions. It can help individuals gain a better understanding of themselves and their relationships. Ultimately, seeking counseling can help individuals lead happier and more fulfilling lives.

<figure id="figure-z8mjeu88jllcypujs"><img id="z8mjeu88jllcypujs" src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1581333100576-b73befd79a9b?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wyNjI5NjF8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHw4fHx0aGVyYXB5fGVufDB8fHx8MTY5MjE0Mzc4MXww&ixlib=rb-4.0.3&q=80&w=1080" alt="therapy" class="object-cover bg-gray-100" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9"></figure>

Breaking the Stigma: Exploring the Importance of Seeking Counselling

Horizon line of blue sky and clouds with beautiful golden orange sunset time with light sunrise nature, picture from plane.

Lately, I've been delving into sleep studies, and I am eager to share with you the invaluable lessons I've learned about sleep's importance, its connection to mental well-being, and its impact on overall life satisfaction.Recovery is a lifelong process, and I am committed to healing and growing from my past experiences. Along this journey, I have explored various facets of sleep and its connection to our daily lives. One interesting discovery is that the peace we cultivate before going to bed profoundly impacts the quality of our sleep and dreams.So, without further ado, I would like to share with you a few tips and practices I've found beneficial in achieving peaceful and restful sleep:<ol><li>Prepare Your Sleep Sanctuary: Keep your bedroom and bed inviting by keeping them clean and clutter-free. Keep the room temperature below 20 degrees Celsius (68°F) and ensure your bed stays cool and comfortable.</li><li>Take Warm Showers: Like we do with newborns, pampering our bodies with warm showers can help us unwind and promote better sleep throughout the night.</li><li>Establish a Night Routine: Consistency is key. Before bedtime, engage in calming activities&nbsp;such as meditation, keeping a gratitude journal, playing soothing music, or praying.</li><li>Use Relaxing Supplements: Magnesium is a fantastic muscle relaxant that aids sleep. Avoid consuming caffeine and alcohol or spending hours on screens right before bed.</li><li>Practice Controlled Breathing: Managing anxiety before bedtime can keep intrusive thoughts at bay and prevent nightmares. Deep, controlled breathing can help calm your mind.</li><li>Sleep Position Matters: If you experience sleep paralysis like me, sleeping on your side may alleviate the frequency of such episodes.</li><li>Keep a Sleep or Dream Journal: Maintaining a journal helps you track your sleep experiences, including any nightmares, and identify patterns or triggers.</li></ol>But here's a surprising fact I came across in my recent studies – instead of suppressing nightmares, it is better to work with them. Nightmares often serve as signals that certain aspects of our lives need healing and recovery. As a trauma-recovery therapist, I am intrigued by this idea and plan to dig deeper into the topic, promising to share my findings with you in the next blog.These tips can help improve the quality of your sleep and, ultimately, your mental well-being. Remember, sleep is precious, and taking care of your sleep hygiene can lead to a more fulfilling life. You can listen to this blog on the Wholesome Counselling Podcast.&nbsp;If you're navigating these unique challenges and need support, I'm here to help. As a Family Therapist and Sleep specialist with a background in attachment-based frameworks, I specialise in addressing the impacts of dysfunctional family dynamics.Need Help? Schedule a consultation <a data-mce-href="https://www.halaxy.com/book/mrs-marvel-adeyemi-accredited-mental-health-social-worker/counsellor/678341/1102411" href="https://www.halaxy.com/book/mrs-marvel-adeyemi-accredited-mental-health-social-worker/counsellor/678341/1102411" title="Here" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Here</a>.Marvel C. Adeyemi, B.A, P. Grad. &nbsp;M.Ed., M.S.W., AMHSW Phone: +61 457846457E: <a href="mailto:mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com" data-mce-href="mailto:mav.wholesomecounsels@hotmail.com">marvel@wholesomecounselling.com</a>

Blog

How to Cope with Family Enmeshment and Finding Your Identity

Healing Attachment Wounds: Embracing Self-Validation

Breaking the Stigma: Exploring the Importance of Seeking ...

HOW TO HAVE A RESTFUL NIGHT